A Mistake

     Time still flied, and her heart had also changed. She had gone, to somewhere, I didn't know. She might have found a nice guy, or might not, I didn't know, or she just kept searching, searching for a perfect guy. My mistake was that I was a poor guy. Her definition of a nice, or perfect guy was a guy with wealth. I was not a wealthy guy, so I was not her best option.

      Yana was my high school friend. We first met when I was in grade 11. I was 18 years of age at that time and she was 16. She studied in grade 10. Her father was a teacher, the most respectful teacher ever. He loved me so much. He would teach me an extra class every single day. He always gave me good pieces of advice, or sometimes money for me to buy books. He inspired me to study, and I did not let him down.

     One day, he invited me to have dinner at his house on a New Year occasion. His intention was to introduce me to his daughter, Yana. Yana was a beautiful, gentle girl. She didn't talk much. Her face was much prettier than film stars I'd ever seen. Her long, raven hair covered her shoulders making her beauty incomparable. 

     I arrived at my teacher's house at 3p.m. I went there early because I wanted to help cooking, as I knew that his relatives from Phnom Penh were joining in that event too. When arriving, I was astounded. I saw an angel. Her beguiling smile from her glamorous lips took my heart away. My knees almost could not support my weight. My face went red like I was drunk. I fell in love, I knew it clearly. 

      She said hello to me and ushered me to the living room. I said nothing besides following her. I sat down on a wooden chair. She walked directly into the kitchen. I watched her walking languidly, and I smile, subconsciously. After she was out of sight, I looked around the house. I noticed an ancient clock on the dark-golden-painted wall. Beside it hung a family photo, and in the middle stood a small, beautiful girl. It was Yana. While I was looking at her ravishingly beautiful face in the photo, she came back with a glass of water in her hand. She handed it to me, and I took it and sipped it shyly. And then she asked me if I needed some fruits. I just nodded my head signing that I didn't need it. She smiled and walked in again.

     My teacher arrived home. He had just been to the market to buy some ingredients. I hurried down the ladder to help him carry the stuff up to the house. He refused to let me help him, but I disapproved with his intention. We carried the stuff together. And then he asked me why I came so early, and I told him because I wanted to help him. He smiled at me with a gratitude look.

     We spent 3 hours cooking, and finally six kinds of foods were finished. We prepared the foods on the table. The sound of a car approached. It was a black Luxus 570. Five people came out of the car, two middle age people and two boys and a girl. The kids greeted my teacher, Yana's mother, Yana, and me. I was so happy; I thought I was a part of that family.

     We dinned together. We talked about this and that, but I noticed that Yana did not talk much. She just kept smiling, and once she smiled, my heart nearly jumped out. I wanted to kiss her lips, but dared not to; I could not keep my eyes out of her face. Suddenly, a voice came out; it was my teacher's voice. He said to me, "Dara, here's my daughter. She's two years younger than you. Please help teach her because she is not as smart as you.", and then he turned to his daughter, "Yana, here's Dara. He's the smartest student in my class. You should learn from him as much as possible." After hearing her father told her so, Yana spoke a melodious voice shortly, "Ja". "Ja" was a Khmer word meaning "Yes". I was over the moon at that time. 

     One hour later, we finished dinning. I said good bye to them. Before I left, I looked at Yana's face once again. She still was smiling. I did not want to go back, but it was a must, so I went home. I had a shower and then talked with my family about the event earlier. My parents were happy to see me get along well with my teacher and his family. After that I went to my bedroom. I sat on a chair my face facing the moon outside the window. The cold, damped wind blew on my bare skin softly; I left my half top body bare. As the wind was fresh, I inhaled the country air joyfully; it smelt so sweet. The moon was shining a soft light shading shadow of a big tree on my house. The shadow stood tall as big as a giant on my house’s wooden wall. There was no sound besides the one of the leaves rustling when blown. I felt nostalgic. As I looked at the moon, I saw Yana’s face smiling at me. I fancied we could be a couple, and I smiled alone while I was thinking. Suddenly a thought came to my mind; “I can’t love her. I am a disagreeably poor guy and she is a deliciously rich girl. Moreover, even she loved me, her family would not agree,” I thought to myself hopelessly. I couldn’t sleep that night. I thought about it over again and again, and finally I came up with an idea. “I must try first. I must not let a chance go. I won’t regret what I have done, but I will regret not doing it, so I must take a risk.” After that I felt so confident. I smiled once again before I decided to close my eyes sleeping.

     The sound of roosters in the village woke me up. Whenever I heard that sound, I knew that it was five o’clock in the morning. I sat up, prepared my bed, and opened my window to absorb fresh, early morning air. Birds started to fly out of their nests in order to find foods. My dog, Lucky, was feeding her twelve kids, and my little cat was playing in the grass in the front yard. The early morning dew was dancing on the hay’s leaves when blown. Everything was busy with their new day. I went out of my bed room and said good morning to my parents. After that I bathed myself clean before going to school.

     The class started at 7a.m. It was physic class which I liked so much. Before the class started, I saw Yana walked across my class. I was about to called her but I decided not to. I was not courageous enough to call her name when we met at her house, let alone in a public place. But I thought to myself I would talk to her one day. Then my teacher arrived in the class. We, my classmates and I, stood up to greet our teacher and we then sat down. The class began. We paid much attention to what the teacher was teaching us.

     Time flied very fast. One hour had passed, and it was time to have a break. A bunch of boys and girls flooded to the canteen to enjoy their breakfast; I was one of them. I had to walk pass six classrooms to get to the canteen, one of which was Yana’s. When I walked pass her class, my body became rigid; I did not look into her class; I was shy. But!!! But I could not believe it. She called out my name. I turned my head and saw her smiling radiantly. I said to her “Yeah… What…What’s up?”  “Nothing’s up, everything stands still,” she said, kiddingly. “Where are you going?” she continued, “To the canteen? I wanna have a breakfast too.” I was like “Are you kidding me!” But I just said “Yes, d’you want to go with me?” Surprisingly, her answer was positive. I was very happy. Then we walked to the canteen together, like a couple, I thought to myself. 

     It was the first time I breakfasted with a girl, the girl whom I loved and who did not know I loved her. We talked about this and that when eating, and that was the moment I got closer to her. I did hope that she would love me, as I did to her. I asked her what her favorite food was, what she would do at the weekend, what kind of music she liked, and whether she liked reading books. I liked reading books so much because it was entertaining and beneficial. The kind of book I like the most was novel. I told her, “If you like reading, I will lend you some books. I bet you will like them.” She said, “Sure, I like reading very much. I spend most of my free time reading novel.” “Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet?” she asked. “Yes, yes. It’s my favorite story,” I told her. “Either do I,” she talked enthusiastically with me, “especially their true love.” “But at the end both of them died,” I said. She replied, “This is called true love.” I nodded my head showing that I agreed with what she thought, and she smiled once again. We were chitchatting happily when suddenly a sound roared signing that it was time to go back to class. 

     The following morning we had breakfast together again, and again and again. We became closer and closer from day to day. She seemed to like me, and my loved for her became more intense. Sometimes I kept thinking of her even when I was cutting the grass. There was a small garden in the front yard of my house. I planted several kinds of flowers and a few types of herbs. I always cut the grass and removed all unnecessary weeds twice a month. One sunny Sunday morning, while I was cutting the grass, I thought about Yana; I was daydreaming. And after refraining consciousness I realized that some of the flowers had been destroyed; I accidentally cut them when cutting the grass and thinking about Yana. 

     Several months after we met, I decided to confess my love to Yana. I knew that she also loved me, very much as I did. I went to her class and told her we would meet in the late afternoon at the lake behind her house. After telling her I went back to my class and studied as usual. 

     After the class, I went back home, lunched with my family, and then took a nap. During my one-minute nap, I dreamt about Yana. I saw her walking her cute dog in my garden. And she picked up a flower and kissed it. Suddenly there were a lot of identical flowers falling from the sky, and she was very happy. She sang and danced joyfully with butterflies who came to play with the flowers, and I was watching her from the window of my bedroom. Her movement made me feel so refreshed. I was happy dreaming, but suddenly I was woken up by my cat. She was chasing a big rat who tried to steal foods in the kitchen. She tried to catch it, but she missed it. The rat managed to escape unharmed. That war caused a loud noise which made me wake up from a nice dream. I, however, did not feel angry with my lovely cat because without her, I would have been late. I was supposed to take a short nap, a 15-minute nap, but because of a very nice dream, I slept peacefully. 

     After getting up and having a shower, I went to the garden and picked up a thorn-less red rose to give to Yana.  I decided to choose the thorn-less red rose because the color red showed the meaning of love and thorn-less showed love at the first sight and no obstacle; I fell for her since the very beginning I first met her when going to her house on the New Year occasion. I believed in love at the first sight because there were only two people in my whole life whom I loved at the first sight, my mother and Yana. 

     I got a rose and went to the place we had agreed to meet. When I got there, I saw Yana was standing looking geese swimming in the lake. She had arrived before I did; she was an early bird. It was her habit. She cared about other people; she’d never wanted other people to feel uncomfortable or waste their valuable time. Time is of essence was her favorite quote. Seeing her enjoying the view and not wanting to disturb her, I decided not to call her or make any noise; I just sat on a wooden bench which was placed under a big tree. I watched her every movement; it was perfect. I wanted to watch her until the evening, but I made noise when a butterfly landed on my head. She heard the sound and turned back and saw me. I smiled at her, and she asked, “When did you get here?” “One hour ago,” I replied softly. She smiled and told me that she was sorry to not have known I was there; she said she was looking a couple of geese swimming together in the lake. I smiled and said it was okay.

     I looked at her face and told her I had something to tell her. She threw a curious face on me and asked, “What’s it?” I did not answer to her question; instead I handed the rose and said, “Yana, I love you. I know that I’m not at your level. I am poor and you’re rich, but I have to tell you I love you. If I don’t tell you, I will regret for the rest of my life. I love you. Since the day we met, I tried to get to know you more, and through our daily communication, I know that I have chosen the right person. Yana, I love you.” I noticed her face became red from shyness. “Do you accept my love, Yana?” I asked once again. “I don’t think about wealth. As long as your love is a pure one, I’ll love you,” she said. She continue, “Can you guarantee that it’s a true love?” “I promise, I promise,” I replied abruptly with a happy voice. “Thank you,” I said, taking her hands. 

     That evening we went to Yana’s house to tell her father about our relationship. He did not resist us being together. “I do understand youth’s love. I do not disapprove your relationship, but follow the tradition and try to study, both of you,” he said. “Yes,” Yana and I answer simultaneously. “I will always love her in my whole life,” I told him firmly. Everyone was happy. After that, I said goodbye to them and went back home. 

     We met each other every day. We always spent time doing school work together, and I explained lessons that she did not quite understand to her. Because I was her senior, I could explain her well. We continued our relationship for about one year and a half until one day she told me she had to go. I asked her where she would go, but she did not answer because she was crying hysterically. I used my hands to wipe her tear out of her beautiful, soft, pinky cheeks. I tried to reassure her and asked her what was happening. She still could not utter even a single word; her tears dropped down like water leaked though a wide hole of a tank. Her beautiful, porcelain face became so pale. She could at last utter in a broken sentence, “I…I…I hav’ to go … go abroad.” “Go abroad?” I exclaimed. “Yes!” she nodded her head. “Why do you go there? And where?” I inquired of her. She was reluctant to reply, but she did, “I’m going to the U.S. My parents have agreed to have me get married with a wealthy Khmer-American guy who is living in the U.S” I couldn’t believe what I had heard. Her father loved me so much, and she did either. It was like I was stroked by a poisonous dagger in my heart; it was so bitter. My eyes were dwelled with tears; it was unbearable that a man like me cried. 

     Several hours later, I went to her house to ask her again because I wanted to make it clear. She must had been kidding me. I ran to her house with my legs bare; they were bloody because of the coarse pavement. Arriving at her house, I met her mother. I asked, “Where’s Yana? I want to meet her.” “She’s gone. Her plane took off one hour ago,” replied her mother helplessly.  I did not know what to do besides standing still. My heart was breaking into millions pieces, nothing left. No spirit, nothing. 

     For three months, I did not go out. I dropped out from school. My parents cried silently every day, I knew it but couldn’t help; I just didn’t want to meet anyone. I started to forget her; it was hard. I tried, and tried. My friends came to my house. I refused to meet them. They came again and again, regularly. One day, I let them in. They tried to convince me to go back to school. I thought over again, and finally I decided to go back. I would find a bright future for myself and my family.

     The next day, I shaved my mustache, had my hair cut short, and ironed my clothes. My hair and mustache had grown long. I went out to inhale fresh air and see my garden. It was still beautiful because my parents always removed bad weeds and watered flowers for me. I looked as normal as before, or even more refreshed. I smiled and looked at the sky. “I will start my new life,” I shouted.

     My study became more and more successful. I finally got a gold medal for a National Top Student of Physics. I made my parents proud of me. Universities offered me chances to choose promising subjects, and I chose to study doctor at University of Health and Science. Throughout my academic years, I had been abroad many times, to Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Thailand, Singapore, and lastly the U.S.  The U.S was the destination I wanted to go. Why? Because Yana was there. I heard she had gone there. 

     When in the U.S, I tried to search for her, but I could not find her. I flew from New York to Texas, from Texas to Florida, from Florida to Washington, DC, and so on and so forth until all the states in the U.S. I was hopeless; I gave up. She might have lied to me; she might have gone somewhere else, I thought. 

     On one summer afternoon, I went to the supermarket to buy some meats, vegetables, fruits, and other necessary canned food because they ran out of my refrigerator.  I had to store those vegetable and fruit for a week. I was searching for meats when suddenly approached me a figure from behind me. A couple of soft hands hugged me tightly. It was a girl, and I could smell fresh tears. They were the tears from Yana’s eyes. I was shocked that it was Yana; I hovered because I could not believe my own eyes. “Yana!” I shouted at the top volume of my voice. “Is it really you, Yana? “Yes, yes, it’s me, darling,” she replied, tears flew from her dazzling eyes. I hugged her, and kissed her on the forehead. “I miss you to death,” I said at last. “Me either,” she said to me.

      She told me all the stories. She did not betray me; she still loved me. She told me that she did not get married with anyone. Her parents just wanted me to concentrate on my study and wanted her either. They would let me know after I graduated. She also told me that her parents paid for my studied in Phnom Penh too such as accommodation and daily expense, except school fee because I was a scholarship student. My parents also knew about this, but they did not tell me. I started to feel guilty, for during those 7 years, I had been thinking Yana and her family were greedy; I thought they got Yana to engage with a wealthy guy. I was mistaken; in fact they were still heart-of-gold people.

Knowing the fact, I felt relieved. Yana and I went back to Cambodia at the end of the academic year. Yana’s family and mine were waiting for us at the airport. They came and hugged us. Everyone’s eyes were brimming over with tears, tears of joy.

     Five months later Yana and I got married, and we lived a happy life ever after.