A Destiny

“What should we do?” she asked me with a shaking voice, her face looked very pale. I touched her hands tightly and tried to reassure her. “Calm down, darling,” I said softly to her. In fact, I was much more confused, more confused than she was; I did not even know how to control myself but I pretended not to look anxious because I did not want her to feel much pain; it was difficult to bear. I told her not to worry too much. “There will be a solution, dear, believe me. I will deal with it, so you should just relax and take care of your health,” I told her, smiling and hugging her, but I was crying a dry tear. 

The god was too cruel; he showed no leniency. “How could you do this?” I cried, out loud to the god. “I just want to live a simple life with her. Why aren’t you a bit lenient?” I shouted again, my body was shaking with anger. I sat down on a rock near the sea pondering what I should and what I could do to save her life. We had been together for roughly five years, since we were in high school. Our soul became inseparable; she was my soul mate. 

She tried in any ways to convince her parents so that we could be together. At first her parents denied our being together. They said we were too young, and we should concentrate on our study; they said I was too poor to take care of their daughter; I should had a job first. Yes, I used to be penniless, but since I graduated from university, I had a good job; I could take care of her. And her parents also allowed us to be together, and we did. We were going to get married.

Unfortunately, it was inevitable. She would die soon, very soon. She had a breast cancer. She was so shocked when knowing that, and she told me about it, hesitantly. She cried all nights before she decided to let me know. She did not want me to worry about her; she wanted me to be happy. But, she knew clearly she would go, go to a very far place, and never come back, so she told me to be well prepared. She told me to be strong and to fight for a happy life; she would be behind me, all the time; she would look at me from the sky, every day. 

When she told me she had a cancer, I tried to lie to myself that it was okay, and I told her too. I went from one hospital to other one, and to the next to find doctors that could save her life. All doctors said the same, she would die. I did not believe it at first, but I finally had to face the fact. I spent the last month taking care of her. She was too weak to sit up, let alone walk; she was too weak to smile, let alone speak. She was like a tree. Only tears flew from her dazzling eyes. She could hear everything we talked to her, but could not respond orally but through tears. When we tried to make her happy, tears flew out, tears of joy, and when she was irritated by her illness, tears also flew out, but tears of sadness. From day to day, her long raven hair became thinner and thinner, and nothing at last. My heart was braking because I knew that her hair was the only thing she loved the most.  

One windy night, while everybody was asleep, a very loud voice came out of her. It was her last voice, the voice of pain. She had gone, to the heaven. She left me alone in the big world. I hugged her tightly; her parents tried to comfort me, but I could not bear it. I tried to wake her up, but she did not care. She just slept, ignorantly. I cried profusely until my voice was unheard and my tears were dried. 

          Since the day she had leaved, I really wished I could meet her again. I missed the day we first met, the vow we vowed, the walk we walked, and the songs we sang together. I remembered I made her cry, and I remembered I made her smile. All of these memories still were still vivid stains on my mind. I remembered she told me that she wanted to go to Disney Land. We promised to go there after we got married. She wanted to go there because she heard that a couple who went there would live a happy life ever; her dream was to live happily with me. But none of these became true, never.  

(To be continued...)