Time
still flied, and her heart had also changed. She had gone, to somewhere, I
didn't know. She might have found a nice guy, or might not, I didn't know, or she
just kept searching, searching for a perfect guy. My mistake was that I was
a poor guy. Her definition of a nice, or perfect guy was a guy with wealth. I was
not a wealthy guy, so I was not her best option.
Yana
was my high school friend. We first met when I was in grade 11. I was 18
years of age at that time and she was 16. She studied in grade 10. Her father
was a teacher, the most respectful teacher ever. He loved me so much. He would
teach me an extra class every single day. He always gave me good pieces of
advice, or sometimes money for me to buy books. He inspired me to study, and I
did not let him down.
One
day, he invited me to have dinner at his house on a New Year occasion. His intention was to introduce me to his daughter, Yana. Yana was a
beautiful, gentle girl. She didn't talk much. Her face was much prettier than
film stars I'd ever seen. Her long, raven hair covered her shoulders making her
beauty incomparable.
I
arrived at my teacher's house at 3p.m. I went there early because I wanted to
help cooking, as I knew that his relatives from Phnom Penh were joining in that
event too. When arriving, I was astounded. I saw an angel. Her beguiling smile
from her glamorous lips took my heart away. My knees almost could not support
my weight. My face went red like I was drunk. I fell in love, I knew it
clearly.
She
said hello to me and ushered me to the living room. I said nothing besides
following her. I sat down on a wooden chair. She walked directly into the
kitchen. I watched her walking languidly, and I smile, subconsciously. After she was out of sight, I looked around the house. I
noticed an ancient clock on the dark-golden-painted wall. Beside it hung a
family photo, and in the middle stood a small, beautiful girl. It was Yana.
While I was looking at her ravishingly beautiful face in the photo, she came back with a glass of water
in her hand. She handed it to me, and I took it and sipped it shyly. And then
she asked me if I needed some fruits. I just nodded my head signing that I
didn't need it. She smiled and walked in again.
My
teacher arrived home. He had just been to the market to buy some ingredients. I
hurried down the ladder to help him carry the stuff up to the house. He
refused to let me help him, but I disapproved with his intention. We carried
the stuff together. And then he asked me why I came so early, and I told him
because I wanted to help him. He smiled at me with a gratitude look.
We
spent 3 hours cooking, and finally six kinds of foods were finished. We
prepared the foods on the table. The sound of a car approached. It was a black
Luxus 570. Five people came out of the car, two middle age people and two boys
and a girl. The kids greeted my teacher, Yana's mother, Yana, and me. I was so
happy; I thought I was a part of that family.
We dinned
together. We talked about this and that, but I noticed that Yana did not talk
much. She just kept smiling, and once she smiled, my heart nearly jumped out. I
wanted to kiss her lips, but dared not to; I could not keep my eyes out of her
face. Suddenly, a voice came out; it was my teacher's voice. He said to me,
"Dara, here's my daughter. She's two years younger than you. Please help
teach her because she is not as smart as you.", and then he turned to his
daughter, "Yana, here's Dara. He's the smartest student in my class. You
should learn from him as much as possible." After hearing her father told
her so, Yana spoke a melodious voice shortly, "Ja". "Ja"
was a Khmer word meaning "Yes". I was over the moon at that
time.
One
hour later, we finished dinning. I said good bye to them. Before I left, I looked
at Yana's face once again. She still was smiling. I did not want to go back,
but it was a must, so I went home. I had a shower and then talked with my
family about the event earlier. My parents were happy to see me get along well
with my teacher and his family. After that I went to my bedroom. I sat on a
chair my face facing the moon outside the window. The cold, damped wind blew on
my bare skin softly; I left my half top body bare. As the wind was fresh, I
inhaled the country air joyfully; it smelt so sweet. The moon was shining a
soft light shading shadow of a big tree on my house. The shadow stood tall as
big as a giant on my house’s wooden wall. There was no sound besides the one of
the leaves rustling when blown. I felt nostalgic. As I looked at the moon, I
saw Yana’s face smiling at me. I fancied we could be a couple, and I smiled
alone while I was thinking. Suddenly a thought came to my mind; “I can’t love
her. I am a disagreeably poor guy and she is a deliciously rich girl. Moreover,
even she loved me, her family would not agree,” I thought to myself hopelessly.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I thought about it over again and again, and
finally I came up with an idea. “I must try first. I must not let a chance go.
I won’t regret what I have done, but I will regret not doing it, so I must take
a risk.” After that I felt so confident. I smiled once again before I decided
to close my eyes sleeping.
The
sound of roosters in the village woke me up. Whenever I heard that sound, I
knew that it was five o’clock in the morning. I sat up, prepared my bed, and
opened my window to absorb fresh, early morning air. Birds started to fly out
of their nests in order to find foods. My dog, Lucky, was feeding her twelve
kids, and my little cat was playing in the grass in the front yard. The early
morning dew was dancing on the hay’s leaves when blown. Everything was busy
with their new day. I went out of my bed room and said good morning to my
parents. After that I bathed myself clean before going to school.
The
class started at 7a.m. It was physic class which I liked so much. Before the
class started, I saw Yana walked across my class. I was about to called her but
I decided not to. I was not courageous enough to call her name when we met at
her house, let alone in a public place. But I thought to myself I would talk to
her one day. Then my teacher arrived in the class. We, my classmates and I,
stood up to greet our teacher and we then sat down. The class began. We paid
much attention to what the teacher was teaching us.
Time
flied very fast. One hour had passed, and it was time to have a break. A bunch of
boys and girls flooded to the canteen to enjoy their breakfast; I was one of
them. I had to walk pass six classrooms to get to the canteen, one of which was
Yana’s. When I walked pass her class, my body became rigid; I did not look into
her class; I was shy. But!!! But I could not believe it. She called out my
name. I turned my head and saw her smiling radiantly. I said to her “Yeah…
What…What’s up?” “Nothing’s up, everything
stands still,” she said, kiddingly. “Where are you going?” she continued, “To
the canteen? I wanna have a breakfast too.” I was like “Are you kidding me!”
But I just said “Yes, d’you want to go with me?” Surprisingly, her answer was
positive. I was very happy. Then we walked to the canteen together, like a
couple, I thought to myself.
It
was the first time I breakfasted with a girl, the girl whom I loved and who did
not know I loved her. We talked about this and that when eating, and that was
the moment I got closer to her. I did hope that she would love me, as I did to
her. I asked her what her favorite food was, what she would do at the weekend,
what kind of music she liked, and whether she liked reading books. I liked
reading books so much because it was entertaining and beneficial. The kind of
book I like the most was novel. I told her, “If you like reading, I will lend
you some books. I bet you will like them.” She said, “Sure, I like reading very
much. I spend most of my free time reading novel.” “Have you ever read Romeo and
Juliet?” she asked. “Yes, yes. It’s my favorite story,” I told her. “Either do
I,” she talked enthusiastically with me, “especially their true love.” “But at
the end both of them died,” I said. She replied, “This is called true love.” I
nodded my head showing that I agreed with what she thought, and she smiled once
again. We were chitchatting happily when suddenly a sound roared signing that
it was time to go back to class.
The
following morning we had breakfast together again, and again and again. We
became closer and closer from day to day. She seemed to like me, and my loved
for her became more intense. Sometimes I kept thinking of her even when I was
cutting the grass. There was a small garden in the front yard of my house. I
planted several kinds of flowers and a few types of herbs. I always cut the
grass and removed all unnecessary weeds twice a month. One sunny Sunday
morning, while I was cutting the grass, I thought about Yana; I was
daydreaming. And after refraining consciousness I realized that some of the
flowers had been destroyed; I accidentally cut them when cutting the grass and
thinking about Yana.
Several
months after we met, I decided to confess my love to Yana. I knew that she also
loved me, very much as I did. I went to her class and told her we would meet in
the late afternoon at the lake behind her house. After telling her I went back
to my class and studied as usual.
After
the class, I went back home, lunched with my family, and then took a nap.
During my one-minute nap, I dreamt about Yana. I saw her walking her cute
dog in my garden. And she picked up a flower and kissed it. Suddenly there were
a lot of identical flowers falling from the sky, and she was very happy. She
sang and danced joyfully with butterflies who came to play with the flowers,
and I was watching her from the window of my bedroom. Her movement made me feel
so refreshed. I was happy dreaming, but suddenly I was woken up by my cat. She
was chasing a big rat who tried to steal foods in the kitchen. She tried to
catch it, but she missed it. The rat managed to escape unharmed. That war
caused a loud noise which made me wake up from a nice dream. I, however, did
not feel angry with my lovely cat because without her, I would have been late.
I was supposed to take a short nap, a 15-minute nap, but because of a very nice dream, I slept
peacefully.
After
getting up and having a shower, I went to the garden and picked up a thorn-less
red rose to give to Yana. I decided to
choose the thorn-less red rose because the color red showed the meaning of love
and thorn-less showed love at the first sight and no obstacle; I fell for her since the very
beginning I first met her when going to her house on the New Year occasion. I
believed in love at the first sight because there were only two people in my
whole life whom I loved at the first sight, my mother and Yana.
I
got a rose and went to the place we had agreed to meet. When I got there, I saw
Yana was standing looking geese swimming in the lake. She had arrived before I
did; she was an early bird. It was her habit. She cared about other people;
she’d never wanted other people to feel uncomfortable or waste their valuable
time. Time is of essence was her favorite quote. Seeing her enjoying the view
and not wanting to disturb her, I decided not to call her or make any noise; I
just sat on a wooden bench which was placed under a big tree. I watched her
every movement; it was perfect. I wanted to watch her until the evening, but I
made noise when a butterfly landed on my head. She heard the sound and turned
back and saw me. I smiled at her, and she asked, “When did you get here?” “One
hour ago,” I replied softly. She smiled and told me that she was sorry to not
have known I was there; she said she was looking a couple of geese swimming
together in the lake. I smiled and said it was okay.
I
looked at her face and told her I had something to tell her. She threw a
curious face on me and asked, “What’s it?” I did not answer to her question;
instead I handed the rose and said, “Yana, I love you. I know that I’m
not at your level. I am poor and you’re rich, but I have to tell you I love
you. If I don’t tell you, I will regret for the rest of my life. I love you.
Since the day we met, I tried to get to know you more, and through our daily
communication, I know that I have chosen the right person. Yana, I love you.” I
noticed her face became red from shyness. “Do you accept my love, Yana?” I
asked once again. “I don’t think about wealth. As long as your love is a pure
one, I’ll love you,” she said. She continue, “Can you guarantee that it’s a
true love?” “I promise, I promise,” I replied abruptly with a happy voice.
“Thank you,” I said, taking her hands.
That
evening we went to Yana’s house to tell her father about our relationship. He did
not resist us being together. “I do understand youth’s love. I do not
disapprove your relationship, but follow the tradition and try to study, both
of you,” he said. “Yes,” Yana and I answer simultaneously. “I will always love
her in my whole life,” I told him firmly. Everyone was happy. After that, I
said goodbye to them and went back home.
We met each other every day. We always spent time
doing school work together, and I explained lessons that she did not quite
understand to her. Because I was her senior, I could explain her well. We
continued our relationship for about one year and a half until one day she told
me she had to go. I asked her where she would go, but she did not answer
because she was crying hysterically. I used my hands to wipe her tear out of
her beautiful, soft, pinky cheeks. I tried to reassure her and asked her what
was happening. She still could not utter even a single word; her tears dropped
down like water leaked though a wide hole of a tank. Her beautiful, porcelain
face became so pale. She could at last utter in a broken sentence, “I…I…I hav’
to go … go abroad.” “Go abroad?” I exclaimed. “Yes!” she nodded her head.
“Why do you go there? And where?” I inquired of her. She was reluctant to reply,
but she did, “I’m going to the U.S. My parents have agreed to have me get married with a wealthy Khmer-American guy who is living in the U.S” I couldn’t believe
what I had heard. Her father loved me so much, and she did either. It was like
I was stroked by a poisonous dagger in my heart; it was so bitter. My eyes were dwelled with tears; it was unbearable that a man like me cried.
Several hours later, I went to her house to ask her
again because I wanted to make it clear. She must had been kidding me. I ran to
her house with my legs bare; they were bloody because of the coarse pavement.
Arriving at her house, I met her mother. I asked, “Where’s Yana? I want to meet
her.” “She’s gone. Her plane took off one hour ago,” replied her mother
helplessly. I did not know what to do
besides standing still. My heart was breaking into millions pieces, nothing left.
No spirit, nothing.
For three months, I did not go out. I dropped out
from school. My parents cried silently every day, I knew it but couldn’t help; I
just didn’t want to meet anyone. I started to forget her; it was hard. I tried,
and tried. My friends came to my house. I refused to meet them. They came again
and again, regularly. One day, I let them in. They tried to convince me to go back
to school. I thought over again, and finally I decided to go back. I would find
a bright future for myself and my family.
The next day, I shaved my mustache, had my hair cut
short, and ironed my clothes. My hair and mustache had grown long. I went out to
inhale fresh air and see my garden. It was still beautiful because my parents always
removed bad weeds and watered flowers for me. I looked as normal as before, or
even more refreshed. I smiled and looked at the sky. “I will start my new life,”
I shouted.
My study became more and more successful. I finally
got a gold medal for a National Top Student of Physics. I made my parents proud
of me. Universities offered me chances to choose promising subjects, and I
chose to study doctor at University of Health and Science. Throughout my
academic years, I had been abroad many times, to Japan, Korea, Hong Kong,
Thailand, Singapore, and lastly the U.S. The U.S was the destination I wanted to go.
Why? Because Yana was there. I heard she had gone there.
When in the U.S, I tried to search for her, but I
could not find her. I flew from New York to Texas, from Texas to Florida, from Florida
to Washington, DC, and so on and so forth until all the states in the U.S. I
was hopeless; I gave up. She might have lied to me; she might have gone
somewhere else, I thought.
On one summer afternoon, I went to the supermarket
to buy some meats, vegetables, fruits, and other necessary canned food because
they ran out of my refrigerator. I had
to store those vegetable and fruit for a week. I was searching for meats when
suddenly approached me a figure from behind me. A couple of soft hands hugged
me tightly. It was a girl, and I could smell fresh tears. They were the tears
from Yana’s eyes. I was shocked that it was Yana; I hovered because I could not
believe my own eyes. “Yana!” I shouted at the top volume of my voice. “Is it
really you, Yana? “Yes, yes, it’s me, darling,” she replied, tears flew from
her dazzling eyes. I hugged her, and kissed her on the forehead. “I miss you to
death,” I said at last. “Me either,” she said to me.
She told me all the stories. She did not betray me;
she still loved me. She told me that she did not get married with anyone. Her
parents just wanted me to concentrate on my study and wanted her either. They
would let me know after I graduated. She also told me that her parents paid for
my studied in Phnom Penh too such as accommodation and daily expense, except
school fee because I was a scholarship student. My parents also knew about
this, but they did not tell me. I started to feel guilty, for during those 7
years, I had been thinking Yana and her family were greedy; I thought they got
Yana to engage with a wealthy guy. I was mistaken; in fact they were still heart-of-gold people.
Knowing the fact, I felt relieved. Yana and I went
back to Cambodia at the end of the academic year. Yana’s family and mine were waiting
for us at the airport. They came and hugged us. Everyone’s eyes were brimming
over with tears, tears of joy.
Five months later Yana and I got married, and we
lived a happy life ever after.
