Miyoshi firework Festival

A Destiny

“What should we do?” she asked me with a shaking voice, her face looked very pale. I touched her hands tightly and tried to reassure her. “Calm down, darling,” I said softly to her. In fact, I was much more confused, more confused than she was; I did not even know how to control myself but I pretended not to look anxious because I did not want her to feel much pain; it was difficult to bear. I told her not to worry too much. “There will be a solution, dear, believe me. I will deal with it, so you should just relax and take care of your health,” I told her, smiling and hugging her, but I was crying a dry tear. 

The god was too cruel; he showed no leniency. “How could you do this?” I cried, out loud to the god. “I just want to live a simple life with her. Why aren’t you a bit lenient?” I shouted again, my body was shaking with anger. I sat down on a rock near the sea pondering what I should and what I could do to save her life. We had been together for roughly five years, since we were in high school. Our soul became inseparable; she was my soul mate. 

She tried in any ways to convince her parents so that we could be together. At first her parents denied our being together. They said we were too young, and we should concentrate on our study; they said I was too poor to take care of their daughter; I should had a job first. Yes, I used to be penniless, but since I graduated from university, I had a good job; I could take care of her. And her parents also allowed us to be together, and we did. We were going to get married.

Unfortunately, it was inevitable. She would die soon, very soon. She had a breast cancer. She was so shocked when knowing that, and she told me about it, hesitantly. She cried all nights before she decided to let me know. She did not want me to worry about her; she wanted me to be happy. But, she knew clearly she would go, go to a very far place, and never come back, so she told me to be well prepared. She told me to be strong and to fight for a happy life; she would be behind me, all the time; she would look at me from the sky, every day. 

When she told me she had a cancer, I tried to lie to myself that it was okay, and I told her too. I went from one hospital to other one, and to the next to find doctors that could save her life. All doctors said the same, she would die. I did not believe it at first, but I finally had to face the fact. I spent the last month taking care of her. She was too weak to sit up, let alone walk; she was too weak to smile, let alone speak. She was like a tree. Only tears flew from her dazzling eyes. She could hear everything we talked to her, but could not respond orally but through tears. When we tried to make her happy, tears flew out, tears of joy, and when she was irritated by her illness, tears also flew out, but tears of sadness. From day to day, her long raven hair became thinner and thinner, and nothing at last. My heart was braking because I knew that her hair was the only thing she loved the most.  

One windy night, while everybody was asleep, a very loud voice came out of her. It was her last voice, the voice of pain. She had gone, to the heaven. She left me alone in the big world. I hugged her tightly; her parents tried to comfort me, but I could not bear it. I tried to wake her up, but she did not care. She just slept, ignorantly. I cried profusely until my voice was unheard and my tears were dried. 

          Since the day she had leaved, I really wished I could meet her again. I missed the day we first met, the vow we vowed, the walk we walked, and the songs we sang together. I remembered I made her cry, and I remembered I made her smile. All of these memories still were still vivid stains on my mind. I remembered she told me that she wanted to go to Disney Land. We promised to go there after we got married. She wanted to go there because she heard that a couple who went there would live a happy life ever; her dream was to live happily with me. But none of these became true, never.  

(To be continued...)

Photos Collection

Night View

Sky Tree

Mito City

View From Mito City Hall

In the vicinity of Ceramic Museum

Sake Museum

Mount Fuji

At the Grave

At Nihon Fukushi University

At Samurai School

At Inuyama Castle

Inuyama Castle

Tokyo Sky Tree

Ise Shrine

My Grandfather

The event happened fifteen years ago in a remote countryside proximity to Cambodia-Vietnam border. I was seven at that time. I lived in an ancient house with my widowed aunt and emaciated grandfather. The house was very big, and so did the land surrounding it. It was built almost one hundred years ago and left unoccupied for years when there was a civil war in the country, but my grandfather and my aunt moved in again after the war finished. My parents did not live there with them because they had to do business abroad. They left me with my aunt and grandfather and would visit us once, sometimes twice, a year. I missed them very much, and sometimes I would not sleep for the whole night; I would sit on the front ladder waiting for them.

One night, the gibbous moon was dimmed by the dense black clouds. The thunder was rumbling, once in a while, at the distance, very far away, giving an ephemeral light. There were no stars in the sky; it seemed like the planet earth was in a depressed mode, no sound, no light. Recalling the bygone memories, I looked at waning moon hovering tenuously in the sky thinking when I would meet my parents again. My aunt was asleep, my grandfather was asleep, and everyone was sleeping, safe and sound; I didn’t and I couldn’t. I missed my parents; I sorely needed them. I felt nostalgic when immediately I saw a white, dimmed figure flying through banana trees which were swaying to and fro due to the force of the gentle winds. I had a gooseflesh and felt my backbone cold. I wiped my eyes gently with my hands to make sure that I was just hallucinating a ghost; I convinced myself it was just an illusion. I frighteningly looked at that place again, but I saw nothing; I felt a bit relieved. Then I rushed in to my bedroom. I entirely covered myself tightly with a blanked. I tried to close my eyes and sleep but couldn’t. I still was awake. The atmosphere became quieter and quieter. Only the rustling of the trees’ leaves and the swaying of the trees made noise from outside, and the ancient clock hanging on the wall made noise from inside of the house. I remembered my grandmother had told me about a ghost story once before she died. She said that a ghost would appear during the full moon and that dogs would howl when they saw a ghost.  

I felt a bit relieved when hearing no dogs howling. I went out of the bedroom silently and walked to the wall and peeped through a small hole in the wall to speculate the place where I had seen a dimmed figure again. I saw nothing, not at all. I decided to open the door and sat on the ladder watching the moon again. As the wind kept blowing, the dense cloud which dimmed the moon light became thinner and thinner until there were no pieces of clouds concealing the moon from being seen. I could see the full face of the ravishingly beautiful moon, and I fancied it so much. I gazed at it admiring its glamorous beauty until I accidentally fell asleep. I slept comfortably leaning my back on the door and putting my head on my left shoulder. The cold wind was warm enough to make me felt cozy. Peacefully, yes very peacefully. But it did not long lasting. I heard a voice from a distance, a howling of dogs. The voice became clearer and clearer and came closer and closer. I was frightened; my body was trembling. Cold sweat wet my forehead. The full moon, the howling dogs, it was a sign of ghost. I shouted at the top volume of my voice but it was inaudible; I lost control of my voice, and my body too; I couldn’t move, let alone stand. I was petrified. I heard something near the banana tree, but I refused to look; I closed my eyes; I would not look, no matter what. I could smell fresh blood, really fresh, as I heard a footstep approached me. I really wanted to open my eyes to see what it really was, but dared not to.  I shrank back as it approached me. I didn’t want it to touch me; I was afraid. But, but it did touch me on my shoulder. Then it spoke; it was a man voice asking what I were doing there. I decided to open my eyes. It was my grandfather. He went out to take a pee, but unfortunately stepped on pieces of broken glass, so the blood flew out from his foot. I felt really relief, and helped him clean his injury. It was nothing, but my grandfather, not a ghost.